It was the night of December, 1932. Y’all, in these parts, we don’t get no snow. It’s the worst darned thing that I dun learned about this part of town. Anyways, I was checking the chucking stove because here we cook chicken ya know, cluck. And I decided to pass time on the internets. So I went onto the surface web of the surface web, the part of the web that is too beautiful for this damned world.
I went to this site that fern call itself “Secure Connectors for sale” not even joking. I decided to buy one cuz screw money nobody needs it anyways right guys?!? I then started to heckin tournament the guy and demand more and more money for the turdload he be sellin’. Finally he got pissed and shutdown my Fukien computer. How rude of that jack. I drank some coffee hoping to get high on carbomcheckeringfeggeringhydrates.
That’s when some asshole starts knocking on my window and shouting “YOu AllO RUINED SOnIC” at the top of their lungs. Literally. Dick had nipples or breasts out partially to basically give me the biggest “screw you”of all motherfuckien time. Screw them. That’s when the dickymickelshithead starts fucking the couch a small they break the fuck in and fling around a knife
“Look I’m Jeff!” They exclaimed at me like an insane shithead. I call the cops and they be arrested, the end.